I hate Star Wars. Okay? Said it. It's established. I'm tired of the hype associated with this shitty stupid movie series that was sorta maybe kinda good in the 70s, mostly because of Frank Oz's puppet work but annoying due to merchandising, but now is such a marketing juggernaut of mouthbreathing idiocy.
I only tolerate slight things. I like Yoda because he talks funny. I like Boba Fett because I'd definitely wear his costume every day of my life if allowed. Same goes for Vader. I like Chewbacca because I'd cuddle him. Jar Jar Binks is just racist good fun. The Ewoks I wish I could keep in a jar.
I hate Harrison Ford. Blame Hollywood Homicide.
I hate Darth Maul because Wal-Mart can't seem to stop printing his shitty face on boys' sized Husky tshirts. I hate the storm troopers because they can't kill shit point blank. I hate Jake Lloyd. I hate the sound a light saber makes. I hate the "plot" in general. I hate wondering how Vader jumps to the dark side. I hate Princess Leia's cinnabon braids. I hate CGI. I hate Star Wars on Lay's potato chip bags. I hate the tiny action figures. I hate their video games. I hate their legos.
And most of all? I hate their fans.