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[///3 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[20 Jan 2006|02:19pm]
I'm offically losing it. Dress like an Indian and throw tea in the ocean kind of crazy. I've been writing a lot of convoluted crap on my computer and reading a lot of paranoid anarchist literature that makes me feel a lot more educated and less depressed because... I'm lonely and sad. Don't feel bad, it's not an all-encompassing problem. The truth is that I miss a lot of people. I miss a very good friend, Madame Elaine, because I've not talked to her in 6 months and yes, she is the lone person that truly understands Ian in ever facet. I dunno...

Blah

[///7 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[28 Nov 2005|03:05pm]


take the "what's your dark secret?" quiz
| courtesy of mewing.net. where darkness and secrecy abound.

[///2 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
Read me and weep [24 Sep 2005|11:21pm]
I am tired I decided to make this a direct stream of consciousness so bear with me or not read this at all because it has a good chance of not making sense, (especially with me typing with my eyes closed_)

I'm tired of waiting for life to happen to me. You read that on a t-shirt but I'm thinking that there is some creedance to some lame cliches. You ever get tired of waking up in the morning with a new injury wondering why you chose not to be in college in the first place? Is building house additions and shovelling poop really the hand you would want to "find yourself"? I want to explain something to the world first and foremost. Every high school graduation has that successful guest speaker that tells you about following dreams or something. Doing what you love being important blah blah blah. Secret: It doesn't happen. Don't lie to yourself. Lofty dreams of living off of your creativity and ideas don't come true for 90% of us. It doesn't make you a bad person to strive to get a job making money rather than a job that you actually like. How many film theory majors have you seen working at Blockbuster? How about people with a masters in philosophy? Haven't they been the person at the Information Desk that helped you find "The Razor's Edge" in Barnes and Noble?

I don't mean to sound so cynical and angry. Maybe I'm overheated. Good chance, actually. Maybe you should get back to me on it.

I swear I'm happy too. Just irritated.

[///1 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[11 Sep 2005|05:51pm]
There's no need for discussion because I have a pretty good idea that it'll regress into infantile threats from you. I find your behaviour confusing, but a lot of the time reprehensible and callous. We'll leave things as they are, which is no contact and I find it the most beneficial. Have a good life Matt.

[///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[02 Sep 2005|04:48pm]
mmmm

still not moved into Benson.

It's getting tedious and depressing just waiting for it all to complete. I'm crossing my fingers and if we're in by the first week of October, I can finally go on vacation to visit a friend in Seattle.

I was supposed to go to Colorado, but Krystal never really kept in touch, which is okay by me. I like the concept of shitting on Kurt Cobain's grave or posing with the Space Needle precariously, as if it's coming out of the open fly of my jeans. An oscillating restaurant tower of dick,.

I'm addicted to cigarettes now. Something I didn't think was going to happen since I used to be casual, and while I smoke only 5 a day, the urge is present to go further with it so I maybehaps have to taper my usage down.

Mrow. Nothing much else to say. I just felt like throwing down a line for once.

[///4 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[07 Aug 2005|12:59pm]
It's been a while since I last had an entry, one of meaningful content, so I'll drop some dirt.

Most likely, next month, I'm heading to Colorado rather than Massachusetts because I need a week off to go somewhere as soon as possible without having to spend too much. Money is tight still and almost impossible to save, so Colorado being closer, is a better more realistic option.

Things around here are crazy, but at least more ironed out. We're moving to Benson officially next month after a long few weeks of arguing with the builders and the well drillers to do their job. I never knew how much of an inconsistent bureaucratic process it is just to get the building permits done.

As far as life, I'm still caring for my horses, riding a lot to clear my head. Not many people have been available to hang out and those that are, I tend to not make myself really available either. Sorry about that. I just for the most part have become a loner.

I called Sara last night, my good friend back home, and I found out she's no longer officially engaged, which was cool to know, but I was a little unsurprised because I predicted it.

My dad is a nutcase still, but not in a Post Traumatic sense anymore. Just in a douchebag way. All he ever wants to do is hang around his horse and he talks about him repetitiously... It gets old, you know? Plus he flies off the handle way too much and unpredictably, and alot of the time I stick my neck out so he doesn't say something shitty to my mom. Fun fun.

The book is finished, even if it needs work. I don't personally like the way it turned out completely, but hopefully it gets enough for me to save up and move....

I'm returning to college hopefully in the spring. I think I might either switch to forensic psychology or pre-law. Still unsure, but at least I'm not so angsty about the future. Turning 20, which is an unimportant benchmark in life, still fucked with me mentally and I asked far too many questions of myself as to where I was going and doing with my life. I feel a lot better having more goals and set purposes.

I've been doing alot of photography lately too, over at these old junkyards on Illinois drive. They're derivative, and obviously badly photoshopped, but I'm proud of my angles.

Other than that, I'll have more news and pics later. I have to do this paper as a favor to my dad's boss. I only have a few hours to complete it, and ta ta for now.

0

P.S. I miss Jess Calderwood.

[///1 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[19 Jul 2005|11:38pm]
Haven't been online in a while but...

Who the fuck cares? I'm typing my greatest cd mix of all time. NOTE MY NAME DROPPAGE

1. "Turnstile Blues" by Autolux
2. "Club Foot" by Kasabian
3. "Pictures of You" by The Cure
4. "Alpha Beta Gaga" by Air
5. "surfing on a rocket" by Air
6. "kelly watch the stars" by air
7. "Drop" by Cornelius
8. "soft revolution" by the Stars
9. "nothing is wrong" by Gomez
10. "Heroes and Villains" by Brian Wilson
11. "Coin-Operated Boy" by the Dresden Dolls
12. "I don't know what I can save you from" by The Kings of Convenience (Royksopp Remix)
13. " I'd rather dance with you" by the Kings of Convenience
14. "My Favourite Game" by the Cardigans
15. "Else" by Built to Spill
16. "The Way I feel inside" by the Zombies
17. "Alive" by Vhs or Beta
18. "Horndog" by Overseer
19. "Hound Dog" by Big Mama Thornton

BAHAHAHAHA

[///1 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[10 Jul 2005|05:21pm]
JusticeBritches: hoboooooos
JusticeBritches: what are your thoughts
JusticeBritches: ?
JessA: great to be one for halloween....bad to be one everyday

[///5 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[01 Jul 2005|08:32am]

Happy Birthday... to me

Happy Birthday... to me

Happy Birthday to Iiiiiaaaaaaaaan

Happy Birthday to me

[///1 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[22 Jun 2005|10:48pm]
Back from the trenches. I've started reading "People's History..." in earnest yesterday after it arrived. It's a great book but it's taking me a bit of time to plow through. It's like I want to know every minute detail so I can be obnoxious about history and politics at the imaginary parties I'll be invited to.

I'm researching new chapters for the book at the library. So far I have 9 more in the works that my dad failed to cover with information. Now it brings the chapter total to 20, which is a better number than 11, I think.

Watched Rounders. It rocked.
Watched Barton Fink. It rocked.
Have yet to watch Batman Begins... I sucked.

I have determined that I have a crush on Meg White, that drummer from the White Stripes. She's not that attractive, at least logic states that, but at the same time, I'm inexplicably drawn to her animatronic performance style and her... boobs. Yes.

My birthday is in 9 days. The giant new decade of 20. Scary. Very scary. I'll be traumatized when it's legal to drink...

merrr...

sleep.

[///2 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[19 Jun 2005|05:13pm]
Apparently, if you've seen more than 70 of these, you're a movie whore.


1. (x) Napoleon Dynamite
2. ( ) Saw
3. ( ) White Noise
4. ( ) White Oleander
5. (x)Anger Management
6. ( ) 50 First Dates
7. (x) Jason X
8. (x) Scream
9. ( ) Scream 2
10.( ) Scream 3
11.(x) Scary Movie
12.(x) Scary Movie 2
13.( ) Scary Movie 3
14.(x) American Pie
15.(x) American Pie 2
16.( ) American Wedding
17.( ) Harry Potter
18.( )Harry Potter 2
19.( ) Harry Potter 3
20.( ) Resident Evil I
21.( ) Resident Evil 2
22.(x) The Wedding Singer
23.( ) Little Black Book
24.(x) The Village
25.(x) Donnie Darko
26.( ) Lilo & Stitch
27.(x) Finding Nemo
28.(x) Finding Neverland
29.(X) 13 Ghosts
30.(x) Signs
31.(x) The Grinch
32.(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
33.( ) White Chicks
34.( ) Butterfly Effect
35.( ) Thirteen going on 30
36.( ) I, Robot
37.( ) Dodgeball
38.( ) Universal Soldier
39.(x) A Series Of Unfortunate Events
40.( ) Along Came A Spider
41.(x) Deep Impact
42.(x) Kingpin
43.(x) Never Been Kissed
44.(x) Meet The Parents
45.(x) Meet The Fockers
46.( ) Eight Crazy Nights
47.( ) A Cinderella Story
48.(x) The Terminal
49.( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
50.( ) Passport to Paris
51.(x) Dumb & Dumber
52.(x) Dumb & Dumberer
53.( ) Final Destination
54.(x) Final Destination 2
55.(x) Halloween
56.(x) The Ring
57.( ) The Ring 2
58.( ) Harold & Kumar
59.( ) Practical Magic
60.(x) Chicago
61.( ) Ghost Ship
62.(x) From Hell
63.( ) Hellboy
64.( ) Secret Window
65.( ) I Am Sam
66.(x) The Whole Nine Yards
67.(x) The Whole Ten Yards
68.(x) The Day After Tomorrow
69.(x) Child's Play
70.( ) Bride of Chucky
71.(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
72.( ) Just Married
73.( ) Gothika
74.(x) A Nightmare on Elm Street
75.(x) Sixteen Candles
76.( ) Bad Boys
77.( ) Bad Boys 2
78.( ) Joy Ride
79.(x) Seven (SE7EN)
80.( ) Ocean's Eleven
81.(x) Ocean's Twelve
82.(x) Identity
83.( ) Lone Star
84.( ) Bedazzled
85.(x) Predator I
86.( ) Predator II
87.(x) Independence Day
88.( ) Cujo
89.(x) A Bronx Tale
90.(x) Darkness Falls
91.( ) Christine
92.( ) ET
93.( ) Children of the Corn
94.(x) Death to Smoochy
95.( ) Maid in Manhattan
96.( ) Frailty
97.( ) Best Bet
98.( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
99.( ) She's All That
100.(x) Calendar Girls
101.(x) Sideways
102.(x) Mars Attacks
103.(x) Event Horizon
104.( ) Ever After
105.(x) Forrest Gump
106.(x) Big Trouble in Little China
107.(x) X-men1
108 (x ) X-men2
109.( ) Jeepers Creepers
110.( )Jeepers Creepers 2
111.( ) Catch Me If You Can
112.(x) The Others
113.( ) Freaky Friday
114.( ) Reign of Fire
115.( ) Cruel Intentions
116.( ) Pi
117.( ) Swimfan
118.( ) Miracle
119.(x) Old School
120.(x) Ray
121.( ) The Notebook
122.( ) K-Pax
123.(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
124.(x) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
125.(x) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
126.(x) A Walk to Remember
127.( ) Boogeyman
128.( ) Hitch
129.( ) Back Door Sluts 9 <-- haha
130.(x) South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut
131.(x) The Fifth Element
132.(x) Star Wars Episode I
133.( ) Star Wars Episode II
134.( ) Star Wars Episode III
135.(x) Star Wars Episode IV
136.( ) Star Wars Episode V
137.(x) Star Wars Episode VI
138.(x) Swimming with Sharks
139.(x) Trainspotting
140.( ) People Under the Stairs
141.( ) Blue Velvet
142.(x) The Sound of Music
143.(x) The Parent Trap
144.(x) The 'Burbs
145.( ) SLC Punk
146.(x) Meet Joe Black
147.( ) Wild Girls
148.( ) A Clockwork Orange
149.( ) The Order
150.(x) Spiderman
151.( ) Spiderman 2
152.( ) Amelie
153.( ) Mean Girls
154.(x) Shrek
155.(x) Shrek 2
156.( ) The Incredibles
157.( ) Collateral
158.( ) The Fast & The Furious
159.( ) 2 Fast 2 Furious
160.( ) Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
161.( ) Closer
162.(x) The Sixth Sense
163.(x) Artificial Intelligence
164.(x) Love Actually
165.( ) Shutter
166.( ) Ella Enchanted
167.( ) Princess Diaries 1
168.( ) Princess Diaries 2
169.(x) Constantine
170.( ) Million Dollar Baby
171.( ) Life of David Gale
172.( ) 25th Hour
173.(x) Vanilla Sky
174.(x) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
175.( ) Boogie Nights
176.(x) Braveheart
177.(x) Fight Club
178.( ) My House In Umbria
179.( ) Double Jeopardy
180.(x) Monsters, Inc
181.( ) Batteries Not Included
182.( ) Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
183.( ) Gone in 60 Seconds
184.(x) The Princess Bride
185.( ) The Hunt for Red October
186.( ) Troop Beverly Hills
187.(x) Schindler's List
188.(x) So I Married An Axe Murderer
189.( ) Requiem For A Dream
190.( ) Bachlor Party
191.(x) Half Baked
192.(x) Goodfellas
193.(x) The Godfather
194.(x) The Godfather II
195.( ) The Godfather III
196.(x) Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke
197.(x) The Goonies
198.(x) Airplane
199.(x) Airplane II: The Sequel
200.(x) Ferris Bueller's Day Off
201.(x) John Carpenter's The Thing
202.( ) How to Deal
203.(x) Labyrinth
204.(x) Office Space
205.( ) Super Troopers
206.(x)Spaceballs
207.(x) This is Spinal Tap
208.(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
209.( ) The transporter
210.(x) Fast times at ridgemont high
211.( ) Fever Pitch
212.( ) The longest yard (2005 version)
213.(x) The shining
214.(x) Kill Bill vol.1
215.( ) Kill Bill vol.2
216.(x) Pulp Fiction
217.(x) Reservoir Dogs
218.( ) Jackie Brown
219.(x) The Stupids
220.( ) Saving Private Ryan
221. (x) Dirty Dancing
222. (x) BLOW
223. ( ) Son In Law
224. (x) The Meaning of Life
225. (x) The Life of Brian
226. (x) Snatch
227.(x) now and then
228.( ) down with love
229.(x)The Breakfast Club
230. ( ) The Garfield Movie
231. ( ) The Salton Sea

[///2 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[19 Jun 2005|12:55am]

I went to Fry's before heading to the stable and some girl asked me at random "hey, how do you spell 'aggressive'" and I was a little confused and spelled it to her, then she said "me and my friend think you're really cute, for your information" and all I could say was "kay... bye" Over the course of a week, I've been come on to by 6 different parties, and this is the first girl to have done so. I don't know what's happened, but it's flattering while simultaneously disconcerting.

I'm tired from day in day out horse work and packing up for the move. I'm getting paid handsomely, but it's still back breaking and not having time to really spend with friends. I hope to return to Newburyport by August, but that might be unrealistic. We'll see how the birthday cash wad looks in 2 weeks. I'm hoping I'm going to be within budget.

I finished the book, but it's a little sparse at 120 pages, so I started looking through binders and realized I could easily add on about 8 more chapters with the material my dad has. I'm also looking for some possible publishers already. Things are taking shape for it.

Songs to download right now, just in case you needed anything new..:

The Arcade Fire- Haiti

The Shins- Saint Simon

Badly Drawn Boy- Once Around the Block

Paul Mauriat- Love is Blue

Paolo Conte- Via Con Me

Grateful Dead- China Cat Sunflower

Elliott Smith- Saint Ides Heaven

Elbow- Fugitive Motel

Stevie Wonder- Maybe Your Baby

 

Thank You. Goodnight.

[///4 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
Because John Richards told me to [04 Jun 2005|11:25pm]
"List five songs that you are currently digging. Post these instructions in your blog along with your five songs. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to."

1. Decemberists- Leslie Anne Levine
2. Motorcycle- As the Rush Comes (Gabriel and Dresden Remix)
3. Metric- IOU
4. Arcade Fire- Rebellion (Lies)
5. Piebald- Part of Your Body is Made of Rock

I summon:

lahnnafaerie
voyage2k
profligancy
thebestparties
cvok

[///11 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[02 Jun 2005|12:46am]
I've never done this, so here goes.


1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song reminds me of you.
3. I will also tell you which celebrity or well-known character you remind me of.
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I'll wonder aloud something about you.

[///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[02 Jun 2005|12:43am]
I'm absolutely balls tired tonight. I just got home from driving all day. Devil, Justine's horse, seems to be ill from some unknown cause and his hips and legs are swollen and he can barely walk. The vet has no idea what's going on... Swell.

I made up with my parents, but I still might be moving out to test out living on my own.

I miss Jennifer horribly. Go figure.

Saw Jessica, which was really cool but couldn't hang with her (sorry lass). Things got hectic the last few days.

Watched "Inspector Clouseau" this morning with Alan Arkin as him... not bad. Not Sellers, but not bad.

Random.

[///7 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[29 May 2005|10:16pm]
Work sucked. Who cares?

Just got home from hanging out with everyone post-work at the safehouse. I smoked 5 count them, 5 cigarettes tonight, which is more than I usually do. before we went, Jefe Phil and Krystal passed around a pipe in the parking lot and it just struck me as funny to see something so blatant and out in the open and yet they didnt give a shit. And I also think I got a little contact high as I usually do, or it was the power of suggestion. I laugh at my reaction to these things.

Then we went to the safehouse, had a good time, etc. etc. Nothing noteworthy that someone who wasn't there would appreciate. I drank coffee until I was hyper, sexually harassed Matthew, etc. I don't want Krystal to leave, and I don't want to leave. I really like the people I work with as is and don't want to move to East Buttfuck Arizona. Argh. Unhappy.

Mixed feelings.

I think I will feed rabbits, shower, watch Arsenic and Old Lace, and sleep.

Later, gators.

[///2 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[26 May 2005|02:44pm]
So yesterday I had a long day off to account for and my sister needed help at her job at this barn at the Hilton in Oro Valley where she takes guests on trail rides, so I decided to come along not knowing exactly what it entailed. I thought more or less it was just me joining her on the ride, and maybe lifting saddles. Nothing particularly technical. I was incorrect. Basically since they were so understaffed and since I knew a bit about horses I was actually working that day. This meant that I was wrangling horses, brushing them, saddling them, feeding them, answering phone calls, riding for a few hours on this steep upward trail into the mountains, keeping guests in check from harming the horses or being retarded, then when it was all finished, taking their saddles and bridles off and throwing them back into their pens without them being fresh. My knees feel like shit after riding for so long up and down, my hands still smell like leather even though I've showered twice since then. Most of the horses were well behaved barring a few I had to literally jump to saddle. Total damage? For two trail rides on ten horses, entertaining guests, and cleaning and feeding the horses, we split 40 bucks in tips along with the 60 she made that day. 50 bucks cash. Me proud of self.

[///3 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[24 May 2005|06:09pm]
It is now ten past 6 and I have called Krystal's cell a total of 8 times? I think. This is over a 5 hour period starting at 1 pm, the specific time she told me to call. My initial reaction is pissy, but something tells me this isn't her fault... I dunno. I'm just disappointed because I haven't done anything special today and was hoping to get out for a while. It's been a bit...

Don't mind me. Just being a cunt.

[///8 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[18 May 2005|07:05pm]
Lately, the following have been good.

0. My Dad is fine and has a new job
1. My clean room.
2. Increased hours at work
3. Listening to Metric, Marianne Faithful, Elbow, Elliott Smith, The Smiths, Presidents of the United States of America, Rilo Kiley, and Mirah
4-6. Books: Reminscences of a Newburyport Nonagenarian, Outlaw Bible of American Poetry, The Daring Young Man of the Flying Trapeze
7 & 8. Movies: True Romance, North by Northwest
9-11. Art of: Jasper Johns, Magritte, and De Chirico

Things that are bad.

1. Krystal leaves next month
2. I move to Benson in 2 months.
3. I need more money to buy things I want.
4. I turn 20 on July 1st
5. My Mom is a bear trap faced bitch.
6. Customers are rude (common complaint)
7. Need a cell phone
8. Temporary blindness still happening. Which means
9. No Driving
10. David Cross cd broke in two.

I passed all my courses, which is of course, neutral. I was expecting to fail each, but landed on the skin of my teeth above a 2 for the semester. I know I'm more capable, but the trip away from college for a while is just what I need to regroup and get shit done.

[///6 Have seen his love patch\\\ ][///Prince is Gay\\\ ]
[15 May 2005|11:40am]

I hate Star Wars. Okay? Said it. It's established. I'm tired of the hype associated with this shitty stupid movie series that was sorta maybe kinda good in the 70s, mostly because of Frank Oz's puppet work but annoying due to merchandising, but now is such a marketing juggernaut of mouthbreathing idiocy.

I only tolerate slight things. I like Yoda because he talks funny. I like Boba Fett because I'd definitely wear his costume every day of my life if allowed. Same goes for Vader. I like Chewbacca because I'd cuddle him. Jar Jar Binks is just racist good fun. The Ewoks I wish I could keep in a jar.

I hate Harrison Ford. Blame Hollywood Homicide.
I hate Darth Maul because Wal-Mart can't seem to stop printing his shitty face on boys' sized Husky tshirts. I hate the storm troopers because they can't kill shit point blank. I hate Jake Lloyd. I hate the sound a light saber makes. I hate the "plot" in general. I hate wondering how Vader jumps to the dark side. I hate Princess Leia's cinnabon braids. I hate CGI. I hate Star Wars on Lay's potato chip bags. I hate the tiny action figures. I hate their video games. I hate their legos.

And most of all? I hate their fans.

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